How to Raise a Fearless Child -- and Why it matters

A woman walked into my Sally Huss Gallery in La Jolla while I was there helping mind the store. She said, "Do you have a book to help children who have childhood fears -- excessive fears? My grandson is afraid of everything!"

"No," I replied, "but if you tell me about his issues, I can write one."
That conversation planted a seed. I began thinking deeply about childhood fears and how to explain, in a way a child could understand, how to let go of them -- or face them and overcome them. These weren't reasonable fears, such as avoiding a hot stove. These were fears like:
* What could be lurking under the bed or in a dark closet
* Being alone for even a short time
* Everyday sounds and shadows

The Nature of Childhood Fear

Every child faces fears. Some are small -- like fear of the dark, strange noises in the night, or a shadow on the wall. Others feel much bigger -- like speaking up in class, trying something new, or meeting new people.
Over the years, I've learned something important: fear often shrinks when we shine light on it. That's one of the main messages in my children's book: The Trick to Being Fearless.

As I contemplated the subject further, I realized:
    1. Fear is the lack of something -- a void.
    2. Identify the fear first.
    3. Fill that void with the opposite -- through the power of words.

"When a child learns they can talk themselves into courage, they can talk themselves into anything -- kindness, confidence, and joy."

The Power of Words to Overcome Fear

Here is the approach I discovered:
    1. Teach a child to use positive, affirmative statements with great force and determination.
    2. Shed light (wisdom) on a fear, and it begins to disappear.
    3. Show the child that the power is in them.
    4. Bravery and self-confidence follow.
    5. Use simple, strong self-talk such as:
        * I am brave when I go into dark places.
        * I am courageous at all times.
        *I can handle being alone. I am capable.

In the story, the main character  plants the positive thought he needs into food -- a peach, a cookie, or a glass of milk -- then "swallows that thought. It's a joyful, imaginative way for children to embrace courage.

Quick Tips for Parents: Helping a Child Overcome Fear

    * Listen without judgement -- let them talk about what's worrying them.
    * Remind them of past success -- "Remember when you were nervous, but did it anyway?"
    * Practice "bravery phrases" together daily.
    * Take small steps toward the fear, instead of rushing.
   *  Celebrate every victory, no matter how small.

The Role of a Parent's Support
Parents can play a big role in helping a child overcome fear. Sometimes, just having someone's support makes all the difference. Childhood fears, when handled with love, encouragement, and a little bit of fun, can actually be seeds of resilience. Children who learn early that they can face fears carry that confidence for life.

What Others Are Saying
Healthy Living commented on the book:

"This is a wonderful book for teaching children, even very young children, the value of self-talk. 'I am brave,' Little Josiah says to himself and sure enough, he becomes just as brave as he told himself he was... Sally Huss has found a persuasive way to make this valuable technique available to even the youngest of us. This is a book to read and reread as part of any bedtime routine."

Yes, The Trick to Being Fearless will help a child overcome fear.
If you'd like to share this message with a child in your life, The Trick to Being Fearless is available
here on Amazon.
It's a story of courage, laughter, and the joy of discovering one's own inner bravery.

  

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