Happy Tennis – The Stress-Free Way to Play

Eight Golden Rules for How to Play Your Best Tennis
As I sit watching the 2025 U.S. Open on television, I am struck by how little has changed in the sport I have loved all my life. Match after match, player after player, the same mental and emotional struggles are on display—fear, nerves, pressure, frustration. I know them well. I suffered from them too.

In my youth, I was fortunate to win the U.S. and Wimbledon Junior Championships and even become a Wimbledon semi-finalist in the Women’s Division. On the outside, that may have looked like success. But on the inside, I was anything but happy. I was fearful, nervous, and full of doubt. The pressure of expectations—family, coaches, and later, the world stage—made the game something to survive rather than enjoy.

Back then, tennis was played with wooden rackets and without the financial opportunities players have today. But pressure is pressure, whether it comes from a coach’s demands or today’s agents, sponsors, and media scrutiny. That kind of pressure eats away at joy.

So, I did something radical. I quit.

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Dance, Zen, and the Birth of Happy Tennis
Walking away from competitive tennis gave me the gift of perspective. I turned to dance therapy, something that seemed far removed from the structured rigidity of competitive tennis. But in dance, I discovered a freedom of movement and expression that I had never felt on the court.

At the same time, I immersed myself in the study of Zen philosophy. The combination of these two practices reshaped my understanding of performance, competition, and joy. I began to realize that the real battle was not against an opponent across the net, but against fear, self-judgment, and ego within myself.

When the ego is removed from the game, something beautiful happens: you play freely. You play joyously. You play without the constant shadow of “what if I lose?” And ironically, you play better.

This was the foundation of what I came to call Happy Tennis—a way of playing that is stress-free, demand-free, relaxed, effortless, and powerful.

Returning to the Court
Fifteen years after I walked away from professional competition, I returned to the game with this new approach. The results were astonishing. In a Virginia Slims event, I defeated the world’s fourth-ranked player. Later, I competed in senior events and rose to become one of the top senior players in the world. But the real triumph was not the trophies—it was the freedom and joy I felt each time I stepped onto the court.

I also began teaching this method to others. Year after year, I watched students transform as they shifted from fear-based playing to joy-based playing. They discovered that tennis is not about taking—points, games, victories—but about giving: giving your best effort, your fullest attention, your truest self to the ball.

That philosophy eventually became the heart of my book, Eight Golden Rules for How to Play Your Best Tennis, a book endorsed by legends Billie Jean King, Mary Carillo, Dick Enberg, and others.

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The Golden Rules
Without giving away the entire book, let me share the essence of what these Golden Rules represent.
They are not about technique, topspin, or perfect footwork. They are about the inner game. They show you how to:

• Focus on the ball rather than on yourself.
• Replace judgment with awareness.
• Let go of fear and allow the body to play.
• Treat your body as a trusted partner, not a slave.
• Release the pressure of the score and play in the moment.
• Approach each point as a gift, not a demand.
• Play to give, not to take.
• Rediscover joy on the court—and in life.
  

These rules are simple, but they require practice and intention. They are not only for professionals but for anyone who has ever picked up a racket—whether at your local public park or in the finals of Wimbledon.

The Ball Always Wins
One of the most powerful lessons I learned is this: the ball always wins. Whoever is in harmony with the ball—devoted to it fully, without distraction—will come out ahead. The ball knows if you are paying attention. It knows if you are with it for the love of the game or merely using it to chase a point.

When you shift your focus away from the score, the audience, the trophy, or the money, and simply give yourself to the ball, the game becomes alive. Every shot, every rally, every moment is an opportunity to play.

Tennis as a Metaphor for Life
The beauty of this approach is that it doesn’t stay on the court. Playing tennis with joy and fearlessness naturally spills over into life itself.

Life, like tennis, is full of distractions, noise, and pressure. But when you meet each moment with awareness, generosity, and focus, everything shifts. Instead of trying to take, you give. Instead of struggling, you flow. Instead of fearing outcomes, you live fully in the process.

This is the deeper gift of Eight Golden Rules for How to Play Your Best Tennis: it is a book about tennis, but it is also a book about life.

A Final Thought
As you watch today’s champions at the U.S. Open, or as you step onto the court for your weekend match, I encourage you to ask yourself: am I playing to win—or am I playing to play?

When you learn to love the ball, love the moment, love the movement, and love the game itself, the rest takes care of itself. Winning becomes secondary. Joy becomes primary.

That is Happy Tennis. And that is the way to play your best.

This book is available on Amazon through my website. Click here.

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