HAPPY MUSINGS

Happy Musings is a newspaper feature syndicated by King Features that I create each day to remind us all that “Life is wonderful!” I offer it here to brighten your day. Please share it with your friends.

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Have What You Want

Yes, to do this for this is the ideal. And, you might say, “That's impossible! I have results I want.” True too. But I have found that to do this for this, yields tremendous results and sometimes even better than those you might have planned on.

I find it easier to explain things in terms of something concrete. Take tennis. When you play a tennis match in a tournament, the goal is to win the match in order to move along in the tournament and eventually get the silver cup or the big, multi-zillion dollar check. So it seems.

But as you play the match, you have the ball to deal with and it is connected to another player who also has the same goal in mind. How do you get the ball to cooperate in your great scheme? What about giving up the scheme? What about just playing the game by focusing on the ball and letting the results take care of themselves?

Results are results and they are none of our business. We can aim toward a goal, but our attention needs to be squarely on what we are doing. In tennis, I have found that the ball is very aware when you do not give it your full attention. In other words if your mind strays to the results you want, the ball finds you fickle, opportunistic and manipulative and in turns rebels by going off in an unplanned direction. But the strange thing is the most fun on a tennis court during a match is to give your full attention to the ball. It's the fun of it! It's the creative aspect of the game – the play. Without preconceived ideas you are free to invent ways and places to hit the ball you might never have dreamed of.

Now when you think of doing this for this and not this for that, you can get down to the real this that you want. Again, in tennis it might be to win. But what is it you want out of winning? HAPPINESS! Generally people are happier when they win then when they lose. But if you are happy when you play and are not holding your breath to see if you can be happy because you win, you get what you really want in the beginning and in the end! On top of which, you actually perform better, whether it's tennis or anything else, when you are happy.

This concept can be applied to any game or any aspect in life. Have what you really want first – the feeling. No waiting required!

11/12/08 (Kindness)
Loving Kindness, Got some?
"Loving kindness spreads like wildfire when given a little spark."
Do not underestimate the power of loving kindness. Poor humanity, it’s not very developed as yet. We’re not far beyond our animal nature. That’s the one that is me, me, me – fearful and selfish. But our next step, I believe, is to just reach a level of “loving kindness” universally. It doesn’t seem like asking very much, but it’s what we need to do now – to operate with loving kindness in all our activities.

I remember as a young person being in the presence of some very wise people. And, it was their opinion that loving kindness was humanity’s next level of evolvement. It takes a long while for everyone to get on the same page, but that’s the page we need to get on. As we can see from what goes on around the world and even in this country there is much to be done to achieve this fairly elementary level of brotherly love.

A few years ago there was a clever ad on TV from the Almond Association. They were trying to bring awareness to the fact that there were a lot of almonds to be had and we should help out. A man stood up to his waist in almonds and held up a can of almonds, stating, “All we ask is one can a week.”

That’s what we need to do for each other on this subject – “All we ask is to act with loving kindness.”

The drive and ambition to get ahead sometimes leaves kindness in its wake. We might be benefiting ourselves in a greater way by putting kindness first. To get ahead, might just be to take a step back into kindness. It does spread like wildfire when given a little spark.

10/28/08 (Life)
Hold the Scalpel!
"You can find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful."
I remember long ago in Psychology 101 my teacher explaining how a need or intention alerted the subconscious to bring to the forefront those things that fulfilled that need or intention. The example he gave at that time was that if you were driving along a highway and became hungry, you would continually notice restaurants along the way. Naturally, that’s an easy one and one that we have all experienced. But, in the same way you can find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful.

Right now, it is very important to look for something beautiful, something positive, something uplifting. These things are everywhere. The intention sets your sifting mechanism and the things you are looking for will be found. There is much to see and much to distract us from the better things in life. Sometimes those distractions are of the coarsest, loudest and most unseemly of things available in our realm. But we can make adjustments -- change channels, change stations, change locations, change friends. As we do, we make way for the beautiful things.

The really good things are the subtle things, the sweet things, the things that lift our spirits. We need to look for them. They are there in our surroundings whether those surroundings are of nature or are filled with high rises and people.

This idea of looking for something beautiful must also be applied to ourselves. How important is it that we see our own beauty? Very. Not that we created it, but we can certainly appreciate it and find it by looking for it.

I knew a woman once who was brimming with self-appreciation. She and her husband ran a popular restaurant in Palm Desert, California. She was just beautiful! Yet her face was covered with wrinkles. She was a great skier, tennis player and swimmer and obviously, lover of the sun. Not one wrinkle covered her beauty. I always admired her because she was as she was, which was an exception to the local women who tended to try to correct every “blemish” with cosmetic surgery. Yes, it was easy to see this woman’s beauty, even if you were not looking for it.

When I look in the mirror, I could see only the wrinkles on my face. But then, I would miss the light in my eyes or the underlying beauty of the life that is within that is forever working towards well-being. So, I honor that life by smiling at this hidden beauty.

You can always find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful because it is looking for you.

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